Since 1981 adults 35 to 44 who live solo has doubled in numbers. The younger population, 15 to 45 leans slightly more toward men living alone.
Of those stats, more women live alone than men across Canada, particularly in older age groups. Out of the 4.4 million Canadians living alone, women make up the majority of solo dwellers aged 55 and older. Among older adults, aged 85 and older, solo dwellers account for 42% of the population, and older women are nearly twice as likely to live alone as older men. Solo living is highest in Quebec, where 19% of individuals over 15 live alone and the lowest Canadian province is in Nunavut.
Why is it that it is much more common for people to live alone in our present times? What is the appeal especially for women?
Women have more access to higher education than was once the case. Women are making more money and choosing careers that are in a higher wage bracket from the normal employment choices when women in the early years joined the workforce after WWII. The increase in female earning power has then driven a change in social norm. It is now widely accepted of women who live alone. Today, women can support themselves financially, they no longer need to marry or stay with a partner for basic economic survival. As women our choices and freedom have vastly changed.
There is no longer the labelling of a “spinster” lifestyle. In the case of women in their elderly years a higher life expectancy, and a shift toward valuing personal autonomy and peace.
Cultural expectancies have changed. Less pressure to marry has resulted and no longer ollowing a “traditional” path.
Many women now choose a solo life to avoid the unequal share of domestic responsibility, child rearing and emotional upsets that they witnessed their mothers endure as they grew up.
Older women today may have married at a young age and had children of which later resulted in divorce. Now in present day they choose to maintain a separate home than remarry or cohabitate, again preserving their autonomy.
Aging and Demographics have also changed. With a longer age expectancy, women live longer, resulting in widowhood and living alone by choice or circumstance.
Living solo as a women creates personal freedom, strong control and personal reliance.
Women find they have autonomy. They enjoy the freedom to do many things without another opinion changing the outcome. Women today enjoy the control to decorate, cook, and structure their days with zero compromise.
Catie, living in a large city explains how happy she is with the flowery wallpaper she chose, of which she explains that she is happy she didn’t have to convince anyone else to accept her choice.
Katie, has lived alone for 13 years, loves it that she can relax peacefully at home with no one to get in the way of her introvert soul.
She adds that living alone is so free that it would be a true crime if she couldn’t change into her PJ’s when she got home every evening! She also loves knowing what exactly is in the fridge at all times with no doubt it will still be there the next morning, unless she has an unexpected midnight snack!
Claire who has lived alone for only 1.5 years says that she loves to peel her clothes off on hot days and walk around the house half naked!
Cheryl who is 69 talks about watching the “Mary Tyler Moore “show growing up, so a woman living alone has always felt exciting!
Women are able to lean into and accept their personalities and celebrate themselves. Managing their home and all it entails builds confidence resourcefulness, and emotional resilience.
Some women after living through devastating relationship breakups choose living alone for sheer survival and some like it so much that they never go back to sharing their home.
Solo living does mean that it will push a person to curate friendships, neighbourhood ties, and engaging socially on your own terms with other like-minded people.
My choice is to live with my two cats, Skye and Sage, who I love dearly. “The girls” as I call them. And I don’t have to worry, if I had a home mate whether the person like cats or not.
I had to learn to get comfortable living alone for a while, which is not uncommon. It felt at the time the moment my mind discovered the difference of being “alone “versus the choice of “solitude” and the altogether different connotation that suggests. Solitude is a chosen, intentional state of being alone that restores energy, while isolation is an unwanted, fear-driven disconnection from others that drains well-being. The art of solitude I have truly conquered. I do at times feel the twinge of loneliness, that’s when I call a girlfriend and go out.
As Jim Carrey quoted,
“Solitude is dangerous. It's very addictive. It becomes a habit after you realise how peaceful and calm it is. It's like you don't want to deal with people anymore because they drain your energy.”
Safety of course, living alone is definitely a consideration of those of us who choose to be the only inhabitants other than maybe a cat or dog), we must accept. Tips like using wooden dowels or window stops in sliding tracks, keep doors locked, and consider video doorbells or security cameras for example. Use first initials or gender-neutral names on delivery and ride-share apps. Maintain outdoor lighting, set automated lights and delay sharing your exact address with new acquaintances. To name a few, to consider.
With practical skills, we women living alone have our own tool box and learn to use them! We share financial discipline, tracking all our bills, having an emergency fund and savings are non-negotiable as spending money.
Meal planning changes a little as we are preparing a meal for one. I find trays of meat from the supermarket are geared to a family. I cook it all up and end up with leftovers that can be frozen to have on nights when I may have limited time to cook or simply do not feel like cooking!
Personally, I have lived alone now for 13 years and pockets of time before that. I honestly can say that I will never share a home with another. I’d love to have a significant other someday, however he will have his home and I have mine.